I am invincible

I love my block

2006-11-07T02:04:00.000-08:00

Bahala na gamay, basta matibangay (Humanities Division Chant)We may be small in number, but we are united. That's pretty much how we are in our block. Although we were reduced from 38 to only around 20 in the class now in the 2nd semester, we are still one. I miss you guys! 'till we see each other again :)

S3 Gahut!<3

Wishful

2006-11-06T07:13:00.000-08:00

She sat motionless in the cab that morning, her head still feeling dizzy from the plane ride home earlier. Prior to departure, she sat down with a caffe latte in one hand, an iPod and Sophie's World on the other just to keep her occupied. She hadn't had a good sleep since 2PM of the day before so she just though of ways to make her at the very least comfortable. She checked her phone for messages. For days, it had been bombarded with "i miss you" and "i wish you were here with me" messages. It just made her homesick. It had been the longest 11 days of her life. It felt as though she had been gone for so long that she just missed how good it was just to be with him. She could do anything just to see him for 10 minutes. Even if she lacked sleep from the trip, she could just bear with it just so she could see him again. The cab finally pulled over a few meters away from where he was standing, just so she could surprise him.

They looked at each other smiling, as she slowly approached him. They fell silent for a while, not knowing what to say. She felt so relieved just to see him. Then, all she could ever say was probably the best thing he had ever heard for days...

"it feels so good to be home with you."

Just a little notice

2006-11-06T06:58:00.000-08:00

I know I've been gone for quite a while. My blog had been on hiatus since 1st sem's finals week. Sorry for the delay. It's quite hard to maintain 2 blogs at the same time. I don't want to limit myself to just copy-paste. Anyway, feel free to drop by next time. I'll be updating my blogs regularly from now on. My 2nd semester sched allows me to blog frequently... :)

To the new ones, thanks for dropping by my blog. I would love to hear from you soon :)

Simple joys of the heart

2006-09-18T06:23:00.000-07:00

I just had my first bite of chicharon for months. It was like a home coming for me, growing up a child who enjoyed boutiful feasts with the family, waking up from my siesta to see a huge lechon on the table for my birthday. Now, I can just simply reminisce the simple things that had once, or in more than one occasion, brought so much joy. While listening to the priest's Sunday sermon, a cute fair skinned little girl was running in one of the church's aisles, which was situated in front of where we were seated. She had the most adorable shoulder length brown hair, with loose curls and a bow right on top of her seemingly gold tresses. She had actually reminded me of my days when I was her age. It was as if life had never been so fast paced, like I could freely run around without having to worry about delaying submittion of requirements or a meeting to catch up to. I remembered how good it felt to just run around, sans the make up and freshly ironed hair and just work up a sweat in the midday heat, without any worries. I remember clearly how refreashing it was to just freely run around without having to worry about forgetting to pack up an extra shirt and some talcum powder. Oh, it really felt so good! I guess I'm just 16 years late. I have come to a world wherein having to work for good grades mattered, wherein I would watch after every calorie I would take into my system. I could remember clearly how good it felt to just take out random books from my shelf and just draw on them with whatever aroused my curiosity. Stars, hearts, rainbows filled the fly leaves of some of my books. Now, I read and highlight concepts from those books that were just once my extensions of coloring books. I still need to work on a report for Biology, on the release of carbon dioxide in respiration. Sixteen years ago, that never mattered. All I wanted to do was breathe. Explore. Discover. Everything seemed so new, so fresh, so inviting. It feels so good to just have a little boy come up to you and ask you for the reasons why the sky is blue. Of course, I couldn't explain to him about light and spectrums. I wouldn't really know if it just occured to me that the sky is blue because the sea is blue. I just found it amazing that you could just stare at the sky for a few minutes and realize. Yes, it is blue!

I had been longing for Tootsie Rolls for the longest time. It just came as a pleasant surprise to me during our mission trip to Kabacan in North Cotabato that our host had given us a bag of treats. To my surprise, I found a Tootsie Roll at the bottom of the bag. I felt so euphoric! I had suddenly felt a sugar rush, even without consuming any of the sweet treats that I had just received. I wouldn't call it superficial though. It's simply, reminiscing a past I have always loved. A big part of me was formed from who I once was as a child.

I had just realized that most of what I want would never really matter. Just strip me off my make up, my clothing, my gadgets, whatever that makes me feel secure. Some would see me as nothing. Yet, those simple joys have always made me feel complete, with or without my modern day musts. I maybe just a bare canvass yet look closely, and you'll see that I already have small splotches of paint on me. I already have an identity. I am no longer just a bare canvass freshly bought from the art supply store. I am coming into picture, yet I still arouse your curiousity. Wait for me. I am maybe underconstruction, but I am not bare. I am not vacuous. I am just a work in progress. A big part of me was formed from who I once was as a child. Love me tenderly love, it is simply a joy for me to love and feel loved.

Just where I want to be

2006-08-25T02:26:00.000-07:00

I could not help but feel so down right now. There were times wherein I felt that I had already lost my sanity along the way. I feel so burned out, at times I feel so lost. I wish I could just stop, pretend to just bend over and tie my shoes, when in fact, all I want to do is sit down and take a few minutes of rest. I don't really know why I stress myself out too much. That's probably one of my worst sins so far. I expect too much and sometimes, give too little. My life seems so messed up right now, but I just don't let it show. Not that I've been bombarded with the world's shortcomings. I'm just swamped with too much work. I just want to stop for a minute, breathe in some fresh zephyr lingering around me and just carry on. Just let me breathe easily, I've had enough of stress in one lifetime.

I just want to take a minute out, just sit and do nothing with you. I could live with that honey. I just wanna be with you all the time.

Blog leave

2006-08-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

Midterms coming up in two weeks.... On blog leave for now...

Gotta make up for lost TLC :)

I am starting to decelerate...

2006-08-18T03:59:00.000-07:00

I think I've come back to my old ways and once again, starting to slack off school work. I don't know why. I think its because of the many days that we were free from class. We had our three day long fiesta last week, some holidays and the Kadayawan Festival (thank God for being Davaoeña!). We have a good four days off from school now. Although it does make me jump for joy, our midterm is quite short. It's so short its quite fast paced. Its even more hectic than the prelims. It sucks having to be scolded by my superiors for no particular reason. My professor scolded me the other day for not "paying attention" to her, when in fact, I was just beside her, listening attentively to every single thing she said. She apparently asked for the answer to two questions. Confused and wondering which question to answer, I asked her to repeat the question again. Then, she turned to me and said "You know, Ms. Milan, it is quite obvious that you were not paying attention to anything that I was saying!" Sigh. College life is full of injustice sometimes. Although we would have the freedom to, in a tactless way (if you could actually pull it off), give your prof a piece of your mind, we are still held back by the threats of academic freedom. Thankfully, I have not been a victim of this although I had to restrain myself from giving my Sociology prof a piece of my mind after saying that ALL MassComm students are down right dumb. He said that before we formally started lectures. Naturally, being a MassComm student I felt insulted but never humiliated. Hmmmmm..that was indeed unfair. Although it did give me a sense of rebellion, it actually was somewhat of a "positive" rebellion. It motivated me to become better in his class. Thankfully, I never failed the subject for the prelims. My plan actually made perfect sense in the end.

So now, it'll be two more weeks before midterms. I should have ample time to cope, submit the necessary requirements and do good in my everyday classes. I'll be aiming for the dean's list this semester. That way, I could make myself worthy of reapplying for transfer to Ateneo de Manila University and major in English Literature, which I originally planned just to keep my options open. Cross your fingers for me. Wish me luck.

If I keep my heart out of sight...

2006-08-16T06:33:00.000-07:00

...I wouldn't be as happy as I am with you now. Only you have ever made me feel this way.

I have returned to my roots

2006-08-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

It took me some few weeks to figure out a good name for my *NEW* blog. I had a Xanga account just a few days ago but I had to delete it. It was just not the same. Now I've realized that I actually miss blogging in BlogSpot. So welcome me home. I have returned to my roots. The prodigal blogger has returned to her abode.

So long Xanga account. I barely knew thee.

*hugs to Lee*